Fair. What does that word mean anyway? A friend of my mother's - an Idaho farm girl - once told her that "Fair is where you to take the Pigs." Well said. Well said. Who ever said Life was fair anyway?
I've had many opportunities to explore this question in my life. In my experience, I have always found that I am the most happy when I don't get caught in the "woe is me" trap. After all, the quickest way to get yourself in a funk is to start thinking that you are more picked on, unlucky or less blessed than the next person. Why does ________ have this blessing and I do not? Why do I suffer from this heartache when their life seems so full? And why are the deepest desires of my heart seemingly going unnoticed when another's trivial prayers are answered at every turn? Those are hard questions. And the answers can be even harder to swallow. But I am not in a good place when I "go there" and find that it steals my peace. Like a wise woman once said, Fair is where you take the Pigs.
So what DO I try to do? I try to find joy in other's successes. I try to be glad for their blessings. And I try to celebrate their happiness. Is it always easy? Heck no. But what goes around, comes around. That's what I've learned.
I have experienced both sides of the coin. I have been lonely and I have had love and friendship. I have been broke and I have been comfortable. I have been the one to be pregnant and I have struggled with infertility. I have had a critically ill child miraculously healed and I have been the one to have a child suddenly and inexplicably taken. I know miracles CAN happen. But I know God's will is what WILL happen. Period. No. Matter. What.
And whatever happens WILL BE fair in the end.
But - for now - Fair is where you take the Pigs.
My favorite definition of "fair" I heard in a Special Education lecture. Fair is not equal. Fair is giving each person what he or she needs. I honestly don't know how to apply that to your specific circumstance, but I have applied it to myself so many times and in so many trials.
ReplyDeleteOh Mandy, I loved this post. It brought tears to my eyes.
ReplyDeleteI am not proud to admit this, but I definitely struggled with this feeling of fairness when we found out about Lily. I couldn't understand what we had done so wrong to need such an intense trial and whenever I would see a family with 5 or 6 kids I would wonder how they were able to have that many kids without having any problems. I knew at the time that these feelings were not logical or even realistic, but I still couldn't help but have my moments!
ReplyDeleteLove this post!! I totally agree with every word and struggle with it too!! I know when I get caught up in it I am miserable, so I really try not too!!
ReplyDeleteAwesome post! You are great!
ReplyDeleteI love that definition. I think I will use it on my kids.
ReplyDeleteVERY WELL said! I love that you, despite the situation you have been dealt are looking to the Lord instead of elsewhere. You are very inspiring and I know that your sweet little Bennett boy is PROUD of his momma! :) All the love in the world!
ReplyDeleteTiff Rich
(Jack's mom)