I am a Sweetheart to One and a Mommy to Four Loveable Babes, one of which is smiling down on us from Heaven. I am learning to dance in the rain. Come with me on my journey as I make the most out of Life's mud puddles.

Put on your rain boots. Great adventure lies ahead.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

My To Do List

As of last night, I am the proud owner of a Home Management Binder. It holds ALL - and I mean ALL - of the info our family needs. I. LOVE. IT. With so much going on in our family right now, I can't leave it to this brain to remember everything. This binder will be my salvation.

As I am looking at my "To Do" list for today, this weekend, this month and this year, I am reminded how ordinary and how extraordinary our situation is. Along with "buy metronome and theory books for Grace" is a jotted note to start Bennett's life history. And this for a boy that only lived a mere 19 3/4 months on this earth. I have the goal of completing it before his "Angel Day" in January. In preparing to start this process, I think I know how sweet, tender, difficult and healing it will be. I just pray that my meager words can do this little man justice. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I'll have to include as many as I can.

As my thoughts have been turned to this new project, I have been reminded of the fragility of life. How Life can change in a split second. Since Bennett's death, it seems like I hear of deaths around every corner that are somehow connected to me or people I hold dear. And - as a new member of The Poignant Loss Club - I feel a responsibility to pay it forward. Whether it be through loving words, shared tears, a heartfelt gift, a written note or a quiet act of kindness, I know firsthand what a difference those things make. We have received over a thousand letters since Bennett's loss and I have kept every one. When I am feeling weak or incapable of dealing with this heartache, I return to the words of others that believe in me, are praying for me and who grieve with me over the loss of my son. Now it is my turn - even while I'm neck deep in Grief - to Pay It Forward. And, in doing so, I believe that I will find companions in Healing and Purpose. How much I need them.

While thinking about the relationships that really mean the most to me in this life, I came across this video on YouTube. Perhaps some of you became acquainted with Chris Medina on American Idol (I personally have not followed the show since Clay Aiken). Medina's story is one of Enduring Love and Heartfelt Compassion following a car accident that tragically disabled his fiance just two months before their marriage. He is now caring for her along with her Mother and trying to find the help his fiance needs to make a full recovery. His is a loyalty rarely seen in this world. What a noble man. And what a blessed woman.

And if you feel like "Paying It Forward", click here to donate to the foundation to aid Julianna's recovery. I did.

Prayers for Peace, Strength and Healing, Julianna and Chris . . .


  1. Are you still interested in photo books for compiling Bennett's story? I would love to share what I've learned with you and help you get started. Just let me know when you are ready to get going. It would be a privilege to help you and be a part of this tender project.

  2. We are coming up on the year mark of my brother's death and this has been my goal, to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those in need of comfort. I didn't understand before, but sadly I do now and feel that I can be supportive and understanding in a way I couldn't before. The raw emotional pain is something you just don't understand unless you've experienced it. I pray for you and your sweet family and the healing power of peace to be with you continually.

  3. Oh Mandy...I absolutely know you have quite the to do list that revolve around you 3 sweethearts that are still in your home keeping you busy :) And to have on that list "write Bennett's life story" has got to be surreal...prayers for you that he'll be close as you write. I have no doubt the words will be beautiful, touching, inspiring, and will describe your sweet Sunshine Boy perfectly :)

    and that story of Chris and Julianna!! My heart is broken and uplifted at the same time! That song is amazing...and that man is one of just a few on this earth. I hope and pray that she can fully heal in this life...but if not, I have no doubt they'll have forever together <3

    This past weekend was so fun! We need more girl/sister time :) love you forever Mand.


Thank you for being a part of my journey. I appreciate your supportive and healing comments. Here's to a Promise of Sunshine!