I am a Sweetheart to One and a Mommy to Four Loveable Babes, one of which is smiling down on us from Heaven. I am learning to dance in the rain. Come with me on my journey as I make the most out of Life's mud puddles.

Put on your rain boots. Great adventure lies ahead.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Update and Miracles

After the events of last week, we are mighty grateful 'round these parts. On Thursday, our computer started showing signs of some technical difficulties which later proved to be a virus. Soon after, the virus shut down our Internet and made access to our files nearly impossible. While this situation would ALWAYS be distressing, after Bennett's death, a sick computer containing nearly all the pictures and video from his life is about enough to cause a heart attack. But - thanks to the help of a good friend - all is well and we are working diligently to back up all our files along with subscribing to an online back up service. In situations such as this, you can never be too careful. We are grateful for the tender mercies that made this miracle possible.

In other news, I have been thinking a lot about miracles lately. Since Bennett's death, it seems that I hear about miracle healings and prayers being answered at every turn. While some of these stories are comforting, some cause some questioning within my soul. Why wasn't I prompted to check on my son during the night? Why couldn't I have resuscitated him? Why couldn't the doctors find anything wrong with his body? Was our faith not sufficient to heal and save our son?

I know. Tough, tough questions.

However, yesterday in church, the Lord - knowing the questions of my heart - gave me a gift. And it came in the form of a quote. A quote from a man I love and adore and consider to be a Man of God. It reads as follows:

When someone has an ailment or an illness and they are healed as the result of a blessing, their faith is being strengthened. But for those who aren’t healed but continue faithful, their faith is being perfected. The first is a faith-promoting experience. The second is faith-perfecting.
(Neal A. Maxwell)

Wow. How true it is.

Now - to be honest - I was fine with the "faith strengthening" experiences I was having before Bennett's death. I believed in God, His love and His mercy and did my best to follow my Savior's path and teachings. And yet, a Loving Father in Heaven saw a better way. A way I would have not chosen. But a way that - in the end - will be Perfect for His Daughter and her little family.

And so we walk this path of "faith perfecting." It is tough, to be sure. But I need to depend on my Father in Heaven and His plan in an entirely different way now that we have "a dog in the fight." This is not general. This is poignant, personal and quite specific. We WILL be with our Bennett again. There is no other option. And we know that God has provided a way. His way. And so we bow our heads, gird up our loins and follow Him.

And that is the greatest miracle of all.


  1. Thank you for sharing this. Our prayers are answered through others- what a beautiful quote that came at the perfect time for you.

  2. Wow. Thank you for continually reminding me that the Lord knows the thoughts and intents of my heart.

  3. Love the quote you posted. I too am on a 'faith perfecting' path. I am also a Mom to four. . .one of which beat me to heaven. :)
    I really admire your courage and strength...& I'm looking forward to visiting your blog again. Have a wonderful day.

  4. Wow...beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

  5. SO glad your computer got fixed! And glad you heard just what you needed to on Sunday. I love that quote. Hope you have a good week.
    Love Jenny B.

  6. You are an amazing writer. Thank you for your words.

  7. I so remember asking lots of questions like this myself, so thank you for that quote. I also remember thinking very clearly that I didn't want my "being refined", if it meant going through what we were going through. I was told later during a blessing that everything that was happening was the plan from before the world even began, and that I agreed to it.
    It was awe inspiring but also it was a gift too. To know that somewhere along the way, I had already agreed to all of this.
    I am writing a bunch of post right now about the different stages of grief. I know that what we are going through is drastically different, but I have felt so up lifted to know that there are others out there that may be going through something difficult, so I just thought I would reach out and let you know!
    Thanks as always for being so open and honest about your experiences.

  8. Wow..I'm in tears. That was a beautiful post.

  9. Love this today. You are so amazing. Thank you for sharing your journey.

  10. so happy to hear from your again, miss your posting the last few days cuz.
    SO glad your photos were saved. love you.

  11. Faith promoting vs. faith perfecting ... thank you for sharing your journey with us.

  12. You should read Chapter 2 "Tragedy or Destiny?" of The Teachings of the Presidents of the Church, Spencer W Kimball.
    I stumbled upon it the other day and it really helped me to understand that tragedy doesn't happen because of our lack of faith.
    Happy Mothers Day!

  13. I too, have had a "faith perfecting" experience. Thanks for sharing that quote.

  14. That quote was BEAUTIFUL and although I have yet to have a "faith perfecting" experience, I appreciate you sharing the tenderness of yours so that we may all learn and grow, even if on a smaller scale... Love and prayers sent your way!


Thank you for being a part of my journey. I appreciate your supportive and healing comments. Here's to a Promise of Sunshine!