I am a Sweetheart to One and a Mommy to Four Loveable Babes, one of which is smiling down on us from Heaven. I am learning to dance in the rain. Come with me on my journey as I make the most out of Life's mud puddles.

Put on your rain boots. Great adventure lies ahead.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Bring Him Home

The other night, my husband and I watched the 25th anniversary celebration of the opening of "Les Miserables" in London. It was an awe-inspiring performance, to say the least. I can't imagine what it would have been like to have seen it live at London's 02 Arena.

While every song was a masterpiece, one particular song really hit home. Literally. At the end of the performance, four of the actors that had played Jean Valjean approached the front of the stage and sang "Bring Him Home." As I listened to their epic performance, it was as if the world stood still for a few moments. I had not heard that song since Bennett's passing and I don't think I will ever think of that song the same way again.

The song is a prayer. The prayer of a helpless parent pleading with a God he knows well. "In my need you have always been there." And what is he praying for? Himself and his own needs? No. He is praying for that of a young boy. "Bring him Home," he asks. "Bring him Home." How well I know those pleas.

The only difference? I have realized that God HAS brought my boy Home. To His Heavenly Home, that is. And - in doing so - he has brought him peace and brought him joy. My Bennett is safe in the arms of the only being that loves him more than I. And I know he will rest there until these aching arms can hold and caress him once more.

Indeed, Bennett lives. And he is Home.

He is Home.


  1. i love that song and what a beautiful application to your tender journey. love ya xoxo

  2. I just cried reading this. So beautiful! I absolutely love your faith and your passion to apply your testimony in a very tender and difficult time of life.You're a great example. You have our love and prayers.

  3. Hi there! My name is Allie Monson. Ashlee and Briann Phillips were my roomies at BYU. I was a Jewish convert to the church, and the Phillips literally adopted me and showed me what it looked like to be a family centered on the gospel. I remember hearing about your family, a lot, especially about your mom from Shmartie. When Bri told me about your loss, my heart literally broke for you. One thing she mentioned to me was what a gifted writer you are, and that your written account of what you are going through could strengthen the testimony and plant the seed of faith in many hearts. Now that I have been blessed to read all of the posts on this blog, I can so see that is true. Your deep love for your sweet boy is in every word of this blog. I am uplifted, inspired, and in awe of your unwavering faith. I can only imagine how proud sweet Bennett is of his mom as he surely knows of every heart you are touching and every life you are changing. You are remarkable, and I hope to meet you someday! Know that my family prays for you and yours.

  4. Thank you for your blog. I am also a mom to a 22 month old son and yesterday was a particularly difficult day since we were both sick and he was very cranky. At the end of the day I was ready for a break- and when I took one I came across your story. What a sweet reminder of how precious our little ones are. No one knows when our last day on earth will be and we need to appreciate everything- even when our child is cranky all day. I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what you and your sweet family are going through. Prayers and good wishes are coming your way.

  5. Thank you for sharing this. It is stunning! It made my morning, and the sweet sentiment will carry me through the week. Lots of Love to you.

  6. amazing. I thought that song was incredibly moving before. Wow.

  7. I was in tears listening to that song. Les Miserable is Dan's all time favorite book, musical, everything. He has all the songs and knows the whole play/songs word for word. When he read your post he said he cannot think about Bennett while hearing that song or he would fall apart. What a powerful song, and what a powerful message you wrote. Hugs sent your way!

  8. We lost our sweet dad to cancer just 7 months ago. We played this song at his funeral as the casket was carried out of the Chapel. He loved Les Mis, and he really loved the song. It was theh perfect tribute to him. I actually just saw a performance of Les Mis this past weekend here in Ohio. I was very emotional through the entire thing. But I am grateful for the many ways in which we can feel close to those we have lost. Whether memories, music, or sharing their stories. Thank you for sharing your son's.


Thank you for being a part of my journey. I appreciate your supportive and healing comments. Here's to a Promise of Sunshine!