I am a Sweetheart to One and a Mommy to Four Loveable Babes, one of which is smiling down on us from Heaven. I am learning to dance in the rain. Come with me on my journey as I make the most out of Life's mud puddles.

Put on your rain boots. Great adventure lies ahead.

Friday, May 4, 2012

The Journey

"Look deep, deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better." (Albert Einstein)

A few weeks ago, I shared with you my battle with Anxiety.

And Man, has it been a battle.

I wrote that post the end of December, posted it for a few hours in January and then pulled it because I felt too exposed. After all, I really have put myself out there. To the tune of more than 250,000 hits. But sometimes I have wondered where "the line" is. What information is too much information? From one moment to the next, I vacillate with my response.

After receiving email after email from people who had read my Anxiety post and who wanted to pass it on, I began to rethink my choice. Would my authenticity bordering on self exposure help someone else? For a time, I didn't know.

But Time is a Great Healer. As I progressed on the road, I no longer felt exposed in sharing the spectrum of my Grief. It was simply part of my story. I could see that in hindsight. And I wasn't ashamed.

Enter Chapter Two to this tale. Some of you may know that we are trying for another babe. It has been a sweetly stressful experience: 1)Sweet, because we greatly anticipate having another babe in our home, and 2)Stressful, because it is not happening as quickly as we would like.

Ok. Let's be real. It stinks. Royally.

Part of this process of "trying" (I hate that term) has been the decision I've made to completely get off my anxiety meds. In the beginning, just the thought of being medically unaided in my attacks would lead to more anxiety but - because my meds were "borderline" safe - I knew it was needful. I already have enough "what if's" in my heart. I don't want another reason to worry about my baby's development and health.

And so last winter, the search began. I needed to find a long term answer. Something healthy, natural but - MOST IMPORTANT - something that worked. Wonders, preferably.

I pled. I prayed. I searched. And - in time - I was lead. Masterfully. The answer arrived camouflaged in some small brown viles. "Take it," I was told by a Woman who knew Deep Grief. "It will help. I promise."

So I did. I immediately felt a lift. But I doubted that it could heal the gaping wounds that were my mind, heart and soul. But - as an act of desperation - I proceeded. I applied the contents of the viles two, sometimes even three, times a day. What did I find? I slept. Soundly. For the first time in a year. I breathed more easy. My stomach was settled. And my mind was still.

Did you read that? My. Mind. Was. Still.

In time, my belief in the healing abilities of these contents grew. I bought more Magic Bottles. This time to heal the tension headaches/migraines that were disabling me. I discovered a Master Mix that has changed my life. When I start to feel the onset of tension, I simply apply it to my neck, temples and forehead and - if needed - repeat in 15 minutes. The Master Mix COMPLETELY shuts down my headaches. This result is nothing less than a Tender Mercy from the Divine.

Because of this blog, many often relate their own stories of loss to me. At parks, in grocery stores, via email or facebook, at church or through a loved one. What have I learned? The Road of Grief is no respecter of persons. It has emotional, mental, physical and spiritual roadblocks for EVERYONE. Some - like me - may wonder if they will EVER be able to find healing in body, mind and spirit.

But I am here to testify that you can.

As I have witnessed the miraculous power of healing for both me and my family the last six months, I have begun to sing the praises of this Healing Gift. For me, Healing has come in the form of a Loving Heavenly Father, my faith that binds me to Him, my Husband and my Children and the path he lead me down to Essential Oils.

Anointing my body with Nature's most powerfully perfect remedies has been almost a spiritual experience. I have been reminded that God created the Earth and ALL things on it for Man. Maybe - just maybe - a Tender Father in Heaven understood in the Beginning what losing Bennett would do to this Mother's body, mind and spirit. And so He - the Omniscient Creator of ALL things - designed elements that would heal ALL that was broken. He knew that Essential Oils, Water and Music could change the frequency of the body and create an environment to Heal.

And so He did.

Millons of years (or so) later, here I sit, blessed by His knowledge, compassion and tenderness. Despite all odds, Mine is a story of Hope, Healing and Happiness. I am becoming whole in body, mind and spirit.

What is the consequence of this outcome? I want to shout out my Tale of Healing to the world. I want others to know that Healing - in every sense - IS possible. I want them to know that even when drugs, doctors, homeopaths and chiropractors have failed to diagnose and treat the inflammation of your body, mind and spirit, that there ARE other options.

Soon another chapter will begin. One of many more to come, I pray. In the coming weeks, I will be launching a new website. A website that continues to follow our Family's path to healing but one that includes the secrets that I am uncovering involving the power of essential oils. I will share how we anoint our bodies to take care our physical, emotional and spiritual needs. And I will continue to document our Path to Wholeness. My goal is to have a Healer in every Home. There is still much to be accomplished and I don't know that we'll ever be "done." It's an ongoing journey. But just knowing that is half the battle. And it's a battle worth waging.

So come with me. We have traveled together - hand in hand - through some of the most harrowing moments of my life. We have put on our rain boots (so to speak) and waded through the trenches of Grief, Loss, Gratitude, Faith and Joy. And - despite it all - we are still standing. Together.

So, thank you.


  1. Wow. I am thrilled for you! What an exciting discovery for you. I'd love more info about which ones you use, because I've had positive experiences with essential oils, as well. Looking forward to another website from you...

  2. Oh AManda!!! I have not been on in a bit and I wish I had. I think this may be a partial answer to my prayers. In the last month I finally took the leap and weaned myself off of my medication from 2 years ago ( I have been doing it slowly over the last year...but for surgery I had to be off for a few days and it went well...so I kept going-I react so very strongly to medication both going on an off it is the poison that heals me...ironic). It was goig well until late and I have regressed...not to where I was BUT my family is suffering and they really dont understand why small things matter to me and why i am always agitated and ready to cry or be overwhelmed. My mind is muddled. The multi tasking task driven person that I am is trapped.I have been pleading that this would be removed. Not for me but for my sweet childrens innocence. SOOO here I am. I have good hours and then some bad. I would be interested to see what has helped you...but have been skeptical of essential oils in the past because I did not feel the helped what the problems were and the cost of them.,,,BUT I am willing to try anything at this point. THANK YOU for sharing. I have been composing a post about post partum for awhile now...but now that I have regressed I feel like it has not quite ended...and I want to write it as a chpater done in my life!Maybe I am realizing it will never be DONE--because after children comes menopause :( It has been hard to give the last thing I did have...my mind, after everything else I had given: my body, my self, my interests. I felt I had been stretched to my capacity ...until I was asked to give my mind. I LOVE my children. I WOULD DO IT AGAIN....but I would never choose this! I love ya girl!!!

  3. Yay! I'm so excited for you! And so excited that I can be a part of your journey. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I'm so happy that you have found healing and I'm looking forward to doing the same. :)

  4. Thank you so much for this post Mandy! I have struggled with anxiety for so many years. Every time I got pregnant I also felt I should completely go off the medication. It was a struggle to go without it. The symptoms I get are mostly at night. My body feels like it's trembling and I have to take deep breaths. I wake up in a panic that bad things are happening or I'm going to die. I have a dear friend that lives down the street from me who has been trying to get me to try essential oils for awhile now and I just haven't done it. She absolutely LOVES them. I have just barely started weaning myself off the medication again trying to see if I can live without it. I am so thankful that now I have heard first hand that these oils can help with this issue. I have been praying for strength to do this. Now I know what other options I have. Thank you...thank you for sharing!!


Thank you for being a part of my journey. I appreciate your supportive and healing comments. Here's to a Promise of Sunshine!